The View from Seven Feet

Several months ago I wrote a post titled “My daughters have never won a basketball game”.  In it, I lament the trend in youth sports in which we do not keep score anymore.  Please read it.  This post will make more sense if you do.

My daughter finally got in a league where they keep score.  And I was the coach.  And, we just completed a perfect season.  We had an unblemished record…8 straight losses and not one win.  And she is yet to experience what a win in basketball feels like.  And I am yet to get my first coaching victory.  I will never be mistaken for John Wooden.

But my premise in the prequel to this blog turned out to be correct.  The girls that I coached learned some valuable lessons that they would have never learned any other way than by having a scoreboard.  They got teased at school for losing.  They cried after each close loss.  They got mad after each blowout loss.  They (and their coach) wanted to strangle a few referees.

And they stood up for their teammates and held their heads high at school.  And they put their arms around their teammates after close losses.  And they encouraged each other after blowouts.  They showed self control with referees (more than the coach did anyway!).  And they came to into each practice with an increasing focus and effort as they had a goal to shoot for. 

We lost our last game this year by only one point.  We stole the ball with 3 seconds left, but did not get the winning shot off in time.  As we huddled for the last time as a team, I could look this team of 4th and 5th grade girls in the eye and truly tell them that I was proud of them.  And they really understood what I meant.  Their effort in the last game, desptie being 0-7, was as great as it had been all season long.  They knew that they never gave up, persevered, tried hard, and worked together even when the scoreboard did not go their way.

And they left the gym with their heads held high.

I believe one of the most effective ways to improve in anything is to surround yourself with those who are better at it than yourself.  As our church has sought to present the timeless truths of the Bible in a manner that is both creative and easily understood by the culture that so desperately needs it, I have really enjjoyed reading the blogs of leaders who are doing this very thing effectively.  I have been digging Mark Batterson’s blog lately and encourage you to check it out if you have a heart to see Christ made known to those who don’t already know Him.  I was at a conference where Mark spoke about 6 months ago and was struck by his simple and “real” approach to leading church and preaching the Gospel.

Can you believe we both showed up for our Sunday service wearing exactly the same thing?  It is not everyday that the two least conspicuous people at church (both taller than 6′10) would be wearing the exact same shirt and pants!  But as you can see, we did.

People always ask me where a 7 footer finds clothes that fit.  Apparently there is only one “7 footer store” and they only have one outfit!

Andrew is actually dressed up as me for a skit we had at church on Sunday.  He played me very well- right down to a CroMagnon man forehead and plate of buffalo wings!  Andrew is a great sport and a great friend.  And he makes a really good “me”.

Amy and Andy King, our pastors responsible for all things creative, put together a hilarious skit to launch our MASKS series at HighPoint.  You can listen to it online.  We will also be posting the other surprises we have in store for our congregation during MASKS.

We took our staff to Jacksonville for a Creative Church Conference with Pastor Ed Young from Fellowship Church in Texas.  Pictured above is Trey Allen (worship director), Jay Duque (associate pastor), Ninette Long (kids coordinator), Jennifer (my super beautiful wife), me, Lisa Young (Ed Young’s wife), Ed Young, Amy King (lead administrator), and Andy King (associate pastor).  This time was amazing for our team.  Nothing builds comraderie like a good old fashioned road trip.  And Ed Young is one of the leading creative minds in the church today.  I encourage you pastors out there to check out his resources and his creative pastors website.  He was very gracious to spend time talking with us and letting us pick his brain.  God has given us a very creative, focused, and fun loving team.  It is great working with such talented people.

On a recent trip to Disney, I was carrying my young niece around on my shoulders so she could have a better view of the park.  If mine is “the view from 7 feet”, hers was “the view from 8 feet”.  It became pretty clear to me that the ice cream bar that she was “wearing” could not stand up to the hot Florida sun.  The next big drip from her mouth landed right on my head!

You know, when you commit to “lifting” somebody up, to helping them live a little higher, to boosting them to the next level, you need to be willing to get a little messy.  Because ultimately leadership puts you in 3 different postitions that can expose you to a few “drips”.  First of all, leadership and lifting others involves you being close.  The most impact is made on those to whom we are the closest.  As you take the time to know others and be known, you are bound to be exposed to their messes.  But avoid the temptation to lead from afar and you will be able to experience people’s victories in a whole new way!

Secondly, leadership involves being willing to stoop low to push another high.  My niece didn’t jump, fly, or climb up onto my shoulders.  I bent down and lifted her up, ice cream and all.  I am so glad that the Jesus I serve did not just sit in the cleanliness of heaven and call to me to “rise up”.   Instead, e came down low, to where I was, and picked me up.  The leaders who have most impacted me personally, were willing to push me up from below rather than pull me up from the top.

Third, a leader knows that when it is hot, someone they have lifted may melt a little.  If we empower and trust in others, they may not always hold up like we think they should.  Choose and lift wisely, train well, but understand that anything worth doing is worth doing wrong.  As you build others for long term health, you may take a few short term drips. 

Despite the messes that sometimes happen, invest in people and lead them by being with them.  You can always put on a hat on the really hot days.

 There is nothing like the sunshine of summertime to bring about one of manhoods greatest pleasure’s…GRILLING OUT.  Now I am not much of a cook in the kitchen, but I might be the undisputed “Grill King of Orlando”.

There is something about being in your best lane that makes life enjoyable for folks.  A few years ago, I tried to make pancakes for my wife…a breakfast in bed kind of thing to let her know how special she is.  The outside of the pancakes were burnt and the inside was raw.  Worst of all, I made a complete and total mess of the kitchen.  Rather than relaxing and blessing her, I made a bigger mess for her.

Interestingly, I never mis-grill a burger.  I don’t even need to watch it, I just set a timer because I know it so well.

The average American worker spends 80% of his work day NOT operating in his or her primary area of giftedness.  The best way to be effective, contrary to once held popular opinion, is not to fix all of your weaknesses, but to work mostly in your strengths.  What about your weak areas?  Delegate.  When I run the grill, the food is great, the mess is contained, I am fulfilled, and my family is blessed.  When my wife runs the kitchen, the food is great, the mess is contained, she is fulfilled, and the family is blessed.

Switch our roles, and she might burn all the hair off her head, while I would miss out on one of my favorite joys.  We already know what happens when I run the kitchen.  Be afraid…be very afraid.

As a leader, spend the majority of your time doing what only you can do.  Work in your strength at least 80% of the time.  What about all the other stuff that needs to be done?  Who knows, it might be just what fulfills another team member because it is their area of giftedness.

This little picture is on 6 different stickers on my boat as a warning about falling overboard. I gotta admit, the picture of this stick man flying through the air cracks me up. We can learn a few lessons from boating, because when leaders aren’t paying attention to those that they lead, people can go flying overboard.

I learned as a professional counselor, that change is one of the hardest and scariest things for most people. As leaders, it is important the we lead our organizations through necessary periods of change and growth with this in mind.

The reason my boat has six different sticker of people flying overboard- despite being only a 21 foot long boat- is because there are lots of ways to get tossed when something is in motion. The driver has to be certain that he checks a few things before beginning quick and daring manuevers. For starters, make sure that everybody is firmly in the boat before you hit the gas. Too often leaders begin the charge without making sure that people understood that rapid movement was about to occur. Even though you know when you are about to “hit it”, make sure that as many people are on board as possible before taking off.

Also, make sure people are seated. When somebody is standing or walking around in the boat is not the time to make a sudden speed or direction change. Don’t make major organizational directional changes when people are busy moving about doing things. Give plenty of advanced warning, so people can wrap up what they are doing and prepare for the course change.

Most casualties of people falling overboard can be averted by doing two simple things. First, look around and make sure folks, especially those that are not right next to you in the middle, are prepared for what is coming. Just because you are ready and expect a change, doesn’t mean they do. Second, communicate well. Go the extra mile to let people know what change is ahead and how to best prepare for it. Let people know when they can expect the change to begin. Just because you know the plan, don’t expect that others would as well. Tell them, answer there questions/ concerns, and tell them again.

Hope this helps somebody out there.

When most people see a ceiling fan, they get a nice cool breeze.  When a 7 footer doesn’t see the ceiling fan, he gets an unintentional haircut!

I almost got clipped the other day at my friend Jerome’s house.  We were having a good time, enjoying his daughter’s birthday party.  And for a brief second, I lost sight of the hazard.  I was distracted and talking and nearly walked right into my new barber (ceiling fan).

While I certainly don’t advocate walking through life in fear or in constant trepidation of upcoming hazards, there is something to be said for paying attention to your surroundings.  It is often what you don’t know or see that can hurt you.

During my days as a professional counselor, and now as a pastor, I have seen my fair share of relationships that have gone astray.  I have seen men and women unintentionally forfeit their destinies in God.  And most of the time, it is not the big stuff that ruined them.  It is usually them becoming a little too comfortable and gradually losing focus.  As they take life for granted or others for granted, they bump into a hazard and they don’t know how to fix their new “bad haircut”.

As you press through life, keep your eyes on the prize.  But at least be aware that there are a few low flying ceiling fans out there.

One thing I really like about being 7 feet tall is that I don’t have to tread water at the deep end of the pool!  Here I am standing on my flat feet in an area where most people would need to use a lot of energy to stay afloat.  There is something to be said for being on firm ground even as the water rises.I remember challenging my sister to an endurance competition of treading water with your hands out of the water.  At the time, I was about 6 foot 10 and she was about 5 foot 8.  As she worked her hardest to stay afloat in the lake, I moved my body with what appeared to be the same exertion.  She was amazed that I was able to last as long as she was, especially because I kept saying how tired I was getting!  As she began to wear out, I could hardly keep from laughing because I was actually just standing on the bottom of the lake pretending that I was competing fairly! 

I took my daughter Carly (known as Gracie on Multiply) to Disney’s Blizzard Beach water park the other day.  We had a blast on the water slides and in the wave pool.  When we went to the deep end of the wave pool, she was sure glad that I could still touch the bottom.  She could grab hold of me whenever she got a little tired.  Two young teenage boys were also out in the deep end near us.  They looked a lot stronger than my daughter, but when they got tired fighting the waves, they had nobody to hold on to.  They would grab the rope that marks the end of the swim zone and try to rest.  The life guard kept blowing his whistle for them to let go of the ropes.  You know, when you are somewhere that you shouldn’t be for too long, it becomes easier to grab hold of stuff that you shouldn’t.  But my daughter could go out into the deep because she had a giant who could touch the bottom. 

It’s best to go into the deep with someone who knows how to navigate it.  Just a thought.

Have you ever felt stuck in someone else’s mold? As you can see with me sitting in this full-size car, one size doesn’t always fit all. All too often, we try to fit people into a mold that we want them in. We try to make people more like us, or more like what we think we need, or more like what seems to be most useful or convenient. Whether it is a preconcieved notion about a person’s ability, a prejudgment on another’s motive, or too quick a determination about another’s likeability, we can often see people not as they truly are, but as we assume they are. How many times in life do we miss the value and uniqueness in people because we prejudge them without getting to know them well?

Not only can we miss the opportunity to see people and their personality for how it really is, we can often misjudge people’s giftedness. As a church leader, I am often responsible for helping people discover their God-given gifts, talents, and passions. I often help people get activated in serving God in a meaningful way. It is critical for leaders to look at people as individuals and evaluate them as God has made them, not as we need them to be in order to advance our agenda. When we focus on our agenda rather than their destiny, we end up squishing them into something that is not their best fit. I encourage you leaders out there to take the time to get to know how God has wired the people you lead. Don’t jam them into the only car that doesn’t have a driver. Get to know them and put them behind the wheel of the right car for them.