The View from Seven Feet

My Daughters Have Never Won a Basketball Game!! 

Despite playing for the last 3 years, my daughters have never won a basketball game. Despite the fact that their coach is a former NBA player, they have never won a basketball game! Despite the fact that Gracie, my 9-year old is 5 foot 3, despite the fact that my 7-year old, Chloe is 4 foot 10…my daughters have never won a basketball game! Despte the fact that they dominate in the low post and are the best ball handlers in the league, my daughters have never won a basketball game! But…

…they have never LOST either. America is hung up on this strange thing called “self esteem”. And in order to “protect” children against the ills of ever facing defeat and feeling “less than”, they never keep scores of their games! The thought is that children won’t get discouraged by having to lose. So they can’t lose, because no one ever wins! I think this stinks. In the interest of them never being discouraged by losing, they never get to experience the encouragment of winning! They never get to experinece the value of their practice time leading to measurable improvement. They never get to experience the thrill of coming from behind to pull out a victory. The never get to jump around with their friends after a satisfying win! And…

…in the interest of “shielding” them from the dangers of losing, they never get to experience the character building lessons that can only come from defeat. How will they learn to persevere? How will they learn to face challenges and adversity? How will they learn that failing to prepare properly has adverse consequences? And how will they learn the grace to say that, although someone was better than them on a particualr day, they are still valuable and acceptable to their parents, friends, and God?

I think “self esteem” risks making children into weenies who don’t know how to take risks and go for the gold! How can we learn to excel as adults when we never taste victory or defeat as children?

Guess what…despite the fact there is no official score kept, the kids still know who won and lost. They also recognize that the parents don’t think enough of them that they can handle the tough truth. This actually does more to hurt their self esteem than losing by a few baskets. Just my thoughts today…what do you think?